Miscommunications

This week of learning about how we learn language has been revelatory! I have seen so many things afresh and anew. It has been invaluable. While much has been encouraging, there have been some hard revelations as well.

As one might expect, we had to cover from whence the languages came, in Genesis 10. After the flood, Noah and his children were commanded to go and fill the whole earth. While they might have started going out, they came to a point that they settled so that they could build a tower to show their own greatness, not the greatness of God. God, seeing that nothing would be impossible for them to do if they succeeded in this project confused their languages such that the people did spread over the earth into like languages.

While the teacher of this course may have meant to say something else, he said, "God caused it that the people could not communicate."  That screamed loudly at me.  Why do I think I am going to get to a point in other language learning that I will not ever have miscommunications? I have miscommunications in English, my heart language, so why wouldn't I in this one too. For that matter, I have miscommunications in my Louisiana dialect, even closer to my heart. While at first it might seem discouraging to think about in a new language, it is actually comforting when those mistakes happen. It is part of being human, which leads me to the next lesson.

Amidst all of this language learning, I have also had the pleasure to talk to others, from other companies and even other countries, about how their teams work. It turns out that team dynamics are one of the greatest, if not the greatest challenge, that coworkers, including myself, experience.  Maybe it is because we expect to be able to communicate with those from our same country who have the same purpose for being overseas, so we are caught off guard by it.  Maybe we expect that we will be "one in the bond of love" and sing "Kumbayah" every day. But the enemy is crafty and targets us where we do not expect it.

John 15
v. 12. This is my commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.
v. 13. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.
v. 14. You are my friends, IF you do what I command you.
.....
v. 17. This I command you, that you love one another.

Wow! Jesus commands us to love one another and says we are His friends IF we do what He commands. Ouch! When I am unloving toward my brothers and sisters in the faith, I am not being a friend to Jesus. (A whole other post will have to be dedicated to what it means to love, but I will sum up that it does not include advocating people do whatever they want which leads to self-destruction.)

Notice this though, Jesus repeats himself. Did He forget that he already said that? No, He has at least two purposes. One purpose is to really drive home the importance of this command. The second greatest command is "Love your neighbor as yourself." If we cannot love those of the family of faith, how are we going to love the world?Second purpose is to elude to the difficulty with which the commandment will be followed. It is not for fun that God repeatedly told Joshua to not be afraid but be courageous, rather Joshua needed to hear those words before he went into difficulty.  It is no coincidence that the Bible says some version of "Do not be afraid" 365 times. We need to be reminded daily to not be afraid. We need to be told multiple times to love one another because it is not going to be easy and automatic, but it is how the world will know that we are His disciples.

Brethren, let us love as the Lord commands us! Let us be quick to listen and slow to speak. Let us be quick to forgive when miscommunications arise in whatever language. Let us love, laying our lives down for one another.

The Cleft of the Rock

Yesterday's training revealed to me something so precious about this last year.  We were learning about the glory of God and how we were created in His image to reflect that glory.

In talking about glory, we talked about Moses on Mt. Sinai. Moses boldly requested to see the glory of God. The face of God's glory was too great for any man to see and live. God told Moses to go to the top of the rock. God would hide Moses in the cleft of the rock and cover him with His hand. Then Moses would see the back of His glory. Moses did not possess much glory in himself but experienced glory unlike any other, such that he had to wear a veil because his face radiated with the reflection of the glory of God.

Looking back on the last year, I feel like cancer was my cleft, a hard and rocky, uncomfortable place. It revealed again that I am a sinner, indeed, saved by grace.  However, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was covered by the hand of God. I felt His presence and surely experienced His goodness.  I experienced His glory in a way I never would have without that hard and rocky place. If I radiate, it is because I am reflecting His glory.

In addition to His glory, we experienced additional goodness as those around us were the hands and feet of Jesus to us. As Paul said to the Galatians, "For I testify to you that, if possible, you would have gouged out your eyes and given them to me." (4:15). That may be slightly exaggerated, but we certainly felt a great level of care and concern. We are grateful for the goodness of God that we experienced this year. I am grateful to have experienced God's glory in a way I never would have without cancer.

"Blessed be Your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
And blessed be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise,
And when the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name."

Stereotypes

Be careful of the generalizations, i.e. stereotypes, you make.

I have been reading the book of Acts this week, preceded by the four books about the life of Jesus. It struck me how different things might have been if everyone had stuck by their stereotypes.

Jesus tried to teach the Sadducees and Pharisees a great many things, but most remained in opposition to him. However, Nicodemus came in the night to learn and try to sort this New Way out for himself. In Acts, those same religious leaders were going to persecute the followers of Jesus. Gamaliel spoke words of wisdom into the situation and calmed them. He might not have been for them, but he was certainly not  picking up stones either. Maybe not all the Sadducees and Pharisees were a "brood of vipers."

On the reverse side, I see Judas and the other disciples. Most certainly, all the disciples seemed to have had their moments of weakness, whether it being denial or just running away from a situation. Judas, though, gets the prize for being the biggest traitor. He sits next to Jesus for the Last Supper, but then betrays Jesus for a few pieces of silver, with a kiss no less. What would happen if we grouped all the disciples together?

When we stereotype people, painting with broad brush strokes, people are liable to get hurt. Some might wonder how I can even begin to address stereotypes. Surely I don't know anything about being a victim of stereotyping. But, I do.

I experience it, in big and small ways, on an almost daily basis where we live. Maybe it is the kids playing in the street or a neighbor. Maybe someone wants me to pay more than I should at the market because of skin color. Maybe they think that my life is sunshine and roses, no work and living it up. Maybe they assume they can skip greeting and ask for money. But maybe I just want a friend, someone to say a kind word, to ask how I am really doing and mean it. Maybe I could use help at the market.  Maybe I just want to be treated kindly. I don't always like the box I am in.

Jesus had problems too because of stereotyping. The Israelites had been waiting hundreds of years for the Messiah.  Then Jesus came. Being the only one, there was not really a mold to break, but Jesus broke the mold anyway. They expected one thing of the Messiah, what he would look like and do, but He was not that way. Because of the stereotype, many did not see Him for who He was.

Whom could you befriend that you are missing because of a stereotype you hold? Who am I not blessing and in turn not being blessed by because of the stereotypes I have held? What neighbor sits in their home alone because everyone else is afraid to reach out?

Kady is an Enigma!

I met Kady just a couple of weeks ago, but she has baffled me twice already.

She called me a couple of weeks ago on a Thursday evening. She did not call to ask for anything. She just wanted to be sure we were meeting on Sunday to study. Now, I don't want it to sound bad on others around us, but rarely do we get calls from others just to chat or check on us. Generally they need something. It costs money to call, extra money they generally do not have, so they do not call much, in my experience, unless they have a need.  An exception to the rule was when we came back this time and our former language teacher called to welcome me back and plan to visit me in person, but she has known us for years.  Not only was Kady not calling to ask for money, she actually was asking about studying the Word, the reason why we are here. Wow!

Then when she did come on Sunday, she brought me cucumbers that her husband had grown and some bananas that she bought at the market. Now it is not completely unusual for gifts of produce that they have grown to be given, though one does keep in mind that it could have been sold to provide for their family. However, a purchased gift is more rare, as I have experienced. Generally we are seen as the ones with money, so we do not need to be given so much. Kady would not even let me share the bananas with her daughter, who shares my name. What a blessing Kady poured out on me!

As I type this, I am reminded of times that we have gone to the village to visit, maybe even spend the day, and took rice and other items for cooking out with us. Even then they would cook it to share with us, or something like bananas would be portioned out among us, the guests, and those with whom we went to visit. Kady however would not let me share with her and her daughter.

Kady is an enigma to me!

Interdependence vs. Independence

Our passport culture has become too independent! Don't get me wrong. I love being an American! I am grateful for those who have served our country to make and keep us free! In our current day, however, interdependence is sacrificed for independence.

Some have criticized the "It takes a village to raise a child." This past year we needed our "village" to help us get through cancer treatments. People though tend to be all about me and mine. They don't want to worry about you and yours, and they sure do not want you correcting them on anything.

The culture we live in is not that way. We are glad to have our kids play with neighborhood kids and give water to those with whom they play. Twice today though some older kids have stopped at our house, one group even walked up in our house, asking for water. The ones who came up in the house were escorted outside and reprimanded by our house helper. The other group did not stop at any other house but chose ours. Why? Because our white kids were outside and they think we do not know the culture. I went outside to get onto Mariama for refusing water until I saw the situation. So I instead corrected the girls. I asked why they did not stop at any of the other houses. I told them it was not good upbringing and they would not tire their mother out in that way.  The women passing by on the street agreed with me and asked me to be patient. I would have felt funny going out there and correcting them, if it had not been for my house helper doing the same thing this morning. Just as thankful that others would correct my children if they were doing wrong or dangerous, like those that told William and Mariama to get away from the well when we first moved here.

We lose something vital in our very independent culture.

The interdependence is also evident in family situations. Jennifer's husband has fluctuated in his attitude toward her in the past. A couple of weeks ago, over a small thing, he made a spectacle of her, in the middle of the street.  He told her to go back to her mother's home. When she tried to leave later that day, he and his family begged her to stay. The story did not end there.

Her husband's eldest brother lives in the capital. As the patriarch, it was his responsibility to see that the situation was addressed. He arrived this past weekend. They had a sit down of the family with Jennifer. They told him what he did was unnecessary and is not to be repeated. If it were to repeat, his family will pack her up and take her to her mother's home, which would include his son leaving as well. The in-laws, who have not always been overly kind to Jennifer, also said that they would not look for another wife for him and that he should be grateful for all that she has done for him. When Jennifer and I had discussed the situation, she did not want to tell her brothers knowing that they would go after him, and then she would have to visit her brother in jail. Instead, she let his family work it out.

 In our host culture, interdependence is much more important than independence. Sure there are downfalls, like when the family arranges a marriage to get a young man to return to his family's faith.  On the other hand, we lose something when we cut ourselves off from our community and fail to hold one another accountable. For all the stress that families can bring, maybe a little more family and community involvement would do us good.