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Hello, I am a mother of three living with my husband in Africa. I have been blogging for seven years but still find myself very technologically challenged. I make lots of mistakes, but life is a journey. Come join me on the journey!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

It's almost time to go to the capitol---Hooray!

I am so excited this morning that it is almost time to go to the capitol to the point that I could hardly sleep and got up early.  Of course, there are the obvious reasons for me to be excited.  First of all, the arrival of our new baby girl in the next month.  Second, some cooler temperatures hopefully.  Third, some time off from language class, though I will still be studying while there.  Fourth, getting to see some friends while we are there that we have not seen in a while.  But, some additional reasons have come to mind today for which I am very grateful.

William is a sweet and loving son.  He rarely gets into trouble, other than maybe for forgetting to pick up his toys and more often his books off the floor.  He is so smart, that homeschool is a breeze.  But he is a BOY!  When he goes out to play, I tell him to stay near the house, so I can find him easily and not to throw dirt or rocks, especially at people or animals, and not to hit with sticks.  But inevitably, the piles of rocks and sand in front of our neighbors' houses call to him.  Now playing in the sand piles does not bother me terribly in itself, because this sand tends to be pretty clean.  Nor do the piles of rocks bother me, as they love to climb on the mountains of rocks.  However, when playing turns to throwing, I get concerned.  Yesterday, William started throwing rocks.  His friend decided to throw them back.  One rock hit William on the side of his head.  There was apparently a continued exchange and then William got hit in the arm with either another rock or a stick.  My heart breaks when I hear my children crying and see them hurt, but at the same time I feel like he is receiving the consequences of his actions because he threw the first rock.  He just happens to not have as good of aim as the other boy yet.  But I do not want him hitting the other boy in the head either.  While it makes me sad in a way to think about William not seeing his friends for a while, it will give me the opportunity to relax knowing that there will not be any rock throwing while we are in the capitol.  I know boys will be boys, but it can give a mother heart failure to think of their child taking a rock to the head.

Mariama on the other hand is beginning to concern me with being too loving to others.  She is precious and loves her siblings so much, even the new baby girl before she even arrives.  She has a tendency to get in trouble more often though, choosing to enforce some rules to William while breaking the ones she wants.  She is so very smart, sometimes too smart for her own good or ours.  She is a girly girl, and yet she tries really hard to hang tough with her brother and his friends as well.  On Saturday, she was in on the rock throwing, despite the fact that I told her to leave the rocks alone.  She hit a bigger boy with a rock, so he hit her back with a stick.  Once again, it hurts to see one's child crying and hurting, but natural consequences will be faced.  Yesterday, however, she was playing outside and some bigger boys had brought her flowers they had picked (probably from our bushes).  Later on in the house, she was calling them her boyfriends.  I said we just needed to call them friends.  She reinforced that they were her boyfriends.  Boyfriends??--she is 4!! Now I am not unaware of the preschool or kindergarten "romance" among children.  But when the boys are easily as much as 5 years older than her, it is a little disturbing, especially in a culture where children tend to grow up so quickly.  Then in the afternoon, they came by the house and she was hugging them.  She is an affectionate child, but it is inappropriate in this culture for Rich and I to show one another public displays of affection.  We do not need her starting that at such an early age, or any age for that matter.  I let her go out and play on her own, particularly with the little girl from next door, but yesterday made me more concerned for her safety. 

How much freedom do I give without letting them be in danger and how much restriction do I put on them without being the mean white lady?  How do I show others that we want to be part of their lives and have them be part of ours without sacrificing their safety?  I know they will likely miss their friends a lot while we are in the capitol, but I am looking forward to a little relaxation of the mind and heart.  I am also looking forward to having a little down time with just me and them as well.  I am working on "being anxious for nothing but in everything, through prayer and supplication, making my requests known to God," but a little time that does not instigate the anxiety will be nice.  

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Mariama's Day of Lying

I came home from class to find my children playing.  I had told Mariama that she could have gum that morning after she finished breakfast.  When I got home, she asked if she could have some.  I asked her if she had some already and she said, "No."  William chimed in that she had asked the boutique owner for some and he had given her some.  I asked her if this was true and she denied it.  I asked the househelper if she had some, and she showed me where the gum wrapper was.  I questioned Mariama again with two witnesses and evidence against her to give her a chance to tell the truth, she continued to vehemently deny that she had any gum.  After this she was disciplined, because she had lied.

Later that afternoon, we went outside to play.  I reminded Mariama not to go into houses asking for food, especially sugar, which she loves to eat raw.  Shortly thereafter, I heard Mariama yelling, "Wait", in the local language.  I tried to call her to me but got no response, possibly because she could not hear me.  I kept hearing her yelling "Wait!"  I went to check it out.  From inside the house she said she was not eating sugar.  I called her over to me.  She was covered in sugar, all over her face and clothes.  I asked her again about the sugar.  She vehemently denied eating any sugar.  It was apparent she had and likely that the ladies of the house were trying to get her away from the sugar, which is why she was yelling.  I sent her back to our house and gave myself time to cool off before going in to discipline her.

I could not believe that twice in one day she would lie so blatantly with so much evidence against her.  But it got me thinking later about sin in general.  Isn't that the way we all are with a sin we relish?  God sees and knows everything, and yet we act like He has no idea what we have been doing.  Evidence is stacked against us and we are caught with our hand in the cookie jar as it were, and yet we still try to deny our sin.  Why do we do that?  Do we think He does not know?  Are we trying to tell ourselves that we are innocent?  And yet the Father disciplines us to teach us and to make us holy as He is holy, for this is what He calls us to be.