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Hello, I am a mother of three living with my husband in Africa. I have been blogging for seven years but still find myself very technologically challenged. I make lots of mistakes, but life is a journey. Come join me on the journey!

Saturday, November 30, 2013

"When Do I Get to Study?"

In spite of my earlier post about my own shortcomings the last few months, the Father has been busy at work around me. A friend has seen how my husband has cared for me since I broke my foot. I have been able to pray with her on a daily basis. A family member of hers is teaching one of our new teammates.

Our new teammate loves to study the Word! Each Friday she and her teacher read from the Good
News in order to learn vocabulary and practice pronunciation. Each afternoon when they have class, the teacher stops for a break to pray. The new teammate studies the Word while the teacher prays. The teacher has told my friend how much the new teammate loves to study.

My friend came to me to ask when she and I can study. She is begging to study the Word. She is hungry. Does my passion for the Word drive others to want to study it as well?  Based on the last couple of months, I would have to say not so much. However I desire to have that passion for the Word which my teammate has displayed for her teacher. "As the deer panteth for the water, so my soul longeth after Thee." Make this be true of me. Give me a greater passion and hunger for Your Word.

"Seven Days without a Quiet Time Makes One Weak" or "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"

Since the beginning of October when I broke my foot, I have had difficulty having my quiet time. I did not want to wake my husband by hobbling around on my crutches. I could not carry my own coffee, which I like to drink as I read the Word. I allowed myself to stay up late watching shows with my husband and slept in late in the mornings. Normally rest times would be another possible time to read and pray. However, I found myself so tired of hobbling around on the crutches that I decided to rest during the afternoons.

Therefore, for several weeks, I was having some time to read, but it was more like a drive thru than a sit down meal. Now while there are times and places for quick study times, most of us would all agree that fast food everyday for almost two months is not quality nutrition. This lack of nutrition began to take effect on my attitude and mood. I was not the wife and mother that my family need to be.

As the saying goes, " If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." I never really understood this phrase until recently. It is not that everyone is concerned about Mama, although they are. It is the fact that Mama is the thermostat in the home. This position is one that I have tried at times in the past to rebel against. I did not want to have that level of responsibility and did not want to have that pressure.  I wanted others, husband especially, to take responsibility for their own attitudes. Well, like it or not, that is a position that I took on when I said, "I do."  I further subjected myself to that position when I decided that I wanted to be a mother. I had no idea what I was asking for when I asked to be able to have a precious little one to cuddle in my arms.

Last weekend I came to the end of myself and realized I was collapsing. I was not able to show respect to my husband nor support him in the way he needed me to do. I was unable to handle the little stresses of everyday life. I was more than a grumpy grouch.

Monday I began waking up early again and reading the Word and praying like I had done in the past. I was able to have my coffee with my Creator. After one week of this, really just a couple of days, I was better equipped to love my husband and children as they needed and as I have been charged to do. I was better able to handle the daily stresses of life. While the last couple of months were not a stellar period of time for me, I am grateful for the opportunity once again to spend time and even to be reminded how much I need Him. When I am weak, He is strong!

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Take Up Your Cross

As I lay this morning in the quiet solitude of my bedroom, which rarely ever happens, I took the time to read from the Word. I have been reading chronologically through it this year. I am currently reading about the life of the Son. A few days I read about His final entrance into the City before His death. Today's reading was about His final evening.

The Son was teaching His followers about His eminent crucifixion. His followers said that they would follow Him even unto death. They proclaimed to Him their undying devotion. A short while later they went together to the Garden. Out of His struggle, He went away to pray and asked His followers to do the same. Oddly enough, they were willing to go to death with Him, but they could not stay awake to pray.

How like us (me) is that?  I often am willing to do the big things but struggle over the "little" acts of obedience.

I also was struck by the love of the Son towards those He knew would betray Him. He knew exactly who was going to betray Him, and yet He lived with the betrayer for three years and even served him.   He knew who would deny Him three times, and yet He insisted that He must wash the denier's feet.

People are often put in our lives as a tool of sanctification for us, and we are in their lives as a tool of their sanctification as well. How often do we dismiss them from our lives because we don't like it? We don't like the drama. We don't like the sanctification process. It would be so much nicer if we could just go from the day of justification to heaven, but it does not work that way. The Refiner's fire burns!

Let us pray for eyes to see what the Father sees and to have a heart that is willing to be molded rather than running from it. Let us take up our cross daily.

Turning Back

Life here can often break your heart. Yesterday my heart was broken more than I think it ever has.

I had a visitor who said she was just passing by and wanted to say hi. She refused to stay long, though I begged her to sit several times. She said she needed to leave and started to walk out the door. I told her that I would be happy to start studying with her whenever she had the chance, and she walked out the gate.

This visitor is one who we met during our last term. She had met some previous workers and had a copy of the Word that they had given her. She told me she was studying in secret and yet her family had found out. They were putting pressure on her to come back to their way and wanted her to marry a man not of her new faith. I prayed with her many times and studied with her when I could. A year before we left, she left our town to study in the capital. Just before we returned, I found out that she had given birth to a baby girl.  Since we returned to our town, she has returned as well. She has been friendly, occasionally visiting me. However things seemed different.

Shortly after she left, she came back in the gate. She gave me the news that she had gone back to her family's faith because of pressure from her father. I am sure she feels the pressure more so with needing to also provide for her baby.  I encouraged her in the need to respect parents. I confessed to her that I really do not understand that kind of pressure, but I know that The Son does. He said that we would be hated because He was hated, and we would be beaten because He was beaten. I told her that there are other followers in the villages who are being beaten by their families and yet holding firm. I prayed with her to be shown the True Way and to have courage to follow it.

The Word teaches that it is better for the one who never knew than for the one who knew and turned back. Lift up this young lady to know His Truth!