"Remember How Far You Have Come"

On a trip to Kenya almost four years ago, I got to feeling sick on our last night and was laying on the floor. A "friend" of mine took a picture of me. Since this is not the general picture I would take, I asked her why she did it. She said something along the lines of, "It's good to remember how you felt and how far you have come."

I cannot say that I am in total agreement with my "friend," but I am trying to remember that lesson today.

Today I go for a post-operative checkup with my plastic surgeon. He will unwrap the bandages and change the dressings over where I had surgery last week. I admit to being nervous about what that will look like. I am preparing myself for something traumatic.

However I am reminding myself of how far I have come. Last week I could not even get out of bed by myself.  In the wee hours of the morning today, I rolled out of bed to use the bathroom, took my medicine, and got back in bed all by myself. Last week, I was just happy to have someone else clean my face. Today, I was able to clean my face and even put on some make up. Though I had finished chemotherapy, not all my hair was gone, i.e. I had kept my most of eyebrows, eyelashes, and arm hair.  Now, I find that the hair on top of my head is already starting to grow back.

Cancer is a battle. Today, I have a feeling that I will feel like a wounded warrior.  Much like a soldier draws strength from his fellow soldiers, I will draw strength from my fellow warriors.
I will remember how far I have come.
I will press on!

Update: the appointment was not nearly as traumatic as I imagined. I think I pictured a sunken chest, not really sure why, maybe because I have seen that before in those ill overseas. However, my lungs and rib cage are just fine. Yes, there are scars and things do look different, but it was not nearly as traumatizing as I had prepared myself to see. Two of my five drains were removed, which was painful but showed progress.  So grateful for good reports.  Last week, I underwent a painful   procedure. This week, there are no cancer cells in my body. Where the cancer cells were in the lymph  nodes and breast were all removed. The only node with cancerous cells still post chemotherapy only measured 7mm. Bam!  Take that cancer!