Auld Lang Syne

Interpersonal Conflict. It seems to be something we all fall into at some point and yet most of us say we do not like it. Many of us struggle with it at this time of year, as we gather with family.  As we sing "Auld Lang Syne" on New Years, we sing about holding onto those long standing friendships and think of letting those conflicts go. 

I will not say always, but most often conflict is a two way street. Rarely is one side completely innocent when conflict arises. Maybe it is because we say too much. Maybe it is because we do not say enough. Maybe we are the offender. Maybe we are the offended. Maybe we simply enable one side or the other.  

Just a few months ago, I realized how I had offended someone several years ago. I honestly did not see the wrong in what I had done. In turn, the person responded in a way that hurt me. The relationship got into a bad cycle. Neither of us were innocent, and we both have admitted that.  

Two days ago, I was reading Philemon. What profound lessons in such a tiny book. 

Paul is commending Philemon on his love and faith toward Jesus Christ and all the saints. Yet, Paul felt compelled to plea with Philemon to welcome Onesimus, who had previously offended Philemon, or at minimum had been useless to him. Paul pleads for any offense on Onesimus' part to be charged to himself and pleads with Philemon to accept Onesimus for Paul's sake. It appears that Philemon, one full of love and faith, even had to be coaxed into forgiving a brother in Christ. It sounds as if Onesimus had come to faith in the meantime, but maybe he had just grown in his faith. 

It comforts me to know that one known for their love and faith might struggle with interpersonal conflict, letting go of past hurts, thus how much more do I struggle? Yet, I am challenged to let go of past hurts, not only for the sake of the brethren, but indeed for the sake of Christ Himself. 

To whom have I been Onesimus, having been useless or offensive to them, hoping to be accepted by them? To whom am I Philemon, that I would welcome them for the sake of the Gospel? To whom do I need to be Paul, that I might aid in restoration of the brethren? 

O, how I wish that I and the other person had talked out things earlier on and cleared up the miscommunication.  O, how I wish that I could redeem the time with that one. However I rejoice in the restoration that has come in the last few months, and I ask guidance on other relationships that still need the work of grace. 

"The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit."