A Year Later

I wrote this blog last week but then did not post it. So, the days are actually two weeks ago now, but you get the idea. 

One year. 365 days. Has it really been that long? Has it only been that long? 

Last Monday was one year since I left Senegal.

Last Tuesday was a year since my first Mammogram and biopsy. 

Last Thursday was a year since I got the official diagnosis of cancer. 

Saturday was a year since I first talked with my doctor about the options regarding surgery.

Yesterday was a year since I saw some of my family for the first time post-diagnosis and saw a friend whose mother had been through breast cancer twice. 

Today is a year since I first worshipped post-diagnosis and was encouraged by another survivor that this would be my journey, not someone else's.

A year ago tomorrow, my family left Senegal to join me here. 

Some days seemed to never end. I feel like I missed out on a lot with my children. In some ways the year seems like a blur, going by so fast and me not remembering all of it. On the other hand, I am grateful for those who stepped in to help with meals and transporting children, so that Rich could care for me and I could help the kids when I was able. I am thankful for the people we have met this year, who have blessed us beyond measure. 

So how am I doing? 

I do not have as much energy as I did a year ago, but I have so much more than I did earlier in this process. Thus I have to choose carefully on what I will spend my energy. I have slowed down, for which my husband is probably thankful. I have learned to give more responsibility to my children regarding caring for the home, for which they are probably not so thankful. 

I have hot flashes as a result of my treatments, but I am managing those.  

I sometimes begin to say something but then get flooded with thoughts, so I have to pause to gather my thoughts to speak clearly, and even stumble at that point. I tend to be forgetful. Both of these I attribute to what is called "chemo brain."

I am mostly recovered from surgery, but tight hugs still hurt, as I found out yesterday.

I am still having trouble remembering to take my medicine every day, but I am getting better. 

A year later, through everything, I am more certain than ever, that my God is able! I shared how God had laid the story of Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego on my heart. My God is able to deliver me, but even if He does not, I will not bow to another. Through everything, my source of peace has been Jesus. No other name under heaven by which we can be saved and no other name promises assurance of eternal life. I had peace through everything this year knowing where I would go if I did not beat the cancer. I had peace knowing that God would care for my husband and children if I were not here to do so. (Truly He is the One caring for them daily even when I am here.)   Because I did not have to worry about the outcome, I was able to have peace throughout the journey. I was drawn closer to Him through His Word as I went through chemotherapy and surgery. Knowing Him, there is no greater thing!