Drying Up

Just three months ago, this scene was very different. It was full, so full that it was overflowing. We had so much rain in the spring that we literally had flooding in our city. The Red River flooded and stayed that way for a long time. This drainage ditch flooded but then drained enough to not overflow continuously. It was so full that it almost seemed hard to remember what it looked like empty or believe that the water would ever completely recede again. Yet, the water has receded and almost completely dried up. The ducks and egrets have enough water to play in but not so much that they will be swept away. Will it completely dry up? 

As I walked and observed this yesterday, it reminded me how I felt earlier this year. In January and February, I was still slow moving from chemotherapy and surgery. I could not get out and do a lot, so I got to spend a lot of time reading and studying God's Word. My time in His presence was so sweet that I never wanted it to end. I was full to overflowing like that drainage ditch was in May.  Yet, I did want to be more involved in my children's lives. As I recovered, I got busy being involved with them and their schools, such that those sweet times of being in God's presence got less and less. Sometimes, especially lately with all the preparations to go back overseas, I begin to feel like I am drying up like this ditch. Water is still flowing but a whole lot less. 

Which one should it be, flood or drying up? While I yearn for that time with the Lord, I missed terribly being involved in life. While I love that I am able to be involved with my children and help my husband, I miss being filled up to overflowing. Unfortunately, this becomes daily life for so much of us, the dried up place. Maybe that is why others do not see Jesus shining through us, because we only have a small stream of Him. What should it look like? 

Well, the Psalmist, in Chapter 23, says that God "restores my soul" and "preparest a table for me in the presence of my enemies, my cup overflows." Overflows! Then the Psalmist in chapter 114 says,"7 Tremble, O earth, at the presence of the Lord, at the presence of the God of Jacob, 8 who turns the rock into a pool of water, the flint into a spring of water."  If the Lord will turn a rock into a pool and a flint into a spring, surely I am to be no less.  

So how do we find a balance? We must carve out time to be in His presence, to allow Him to refresh us. The Spirit of the Lord is enough, yet if we are not still for Him to pour into us, it will be hard for our cup to overflow. Those looking at my life from the outside may think my Lord is not enough because I am drying up, but it is not His fault if I am not being still to be renewed and filled. So I must remain filled for my own peace of heart as well as for the sake of His Great Name! 

O Lord, fill me up to overflowing! Don't let me dry up!