Confessions and the Song of Solomon

Personal Confessions and Lessons from Song of Solomon
I have been very reflective the last few months. Some people say that we should not look back because it is Satan trying to discourage us. However, I have found in scripture that they were to set up stones of remembrance for times of God's great deliverance as well as God's judgement. There was also a time that one record of an event said that it was "the anger of The Lord" while another record attributes the work to Satan. I think the difference in Satan bringing up our past and God's drawing us to those stones of remembrance is how we feel afterwards. Satan's work results in discouragement and shame, while God's work results in gratitude for God's protection and forgiveness.
One area that I have been reflecting on quite a bit, especially after getting together with high school friends the other night, has been my relationships to the opposite sex back in high school. I always had at least one boy that my sights were set on, and I was rather determined in focus. It was such a joke that I was actually given what was called the "sharking" award. I think that many saw it as innocent from the outside but did not know how deep my issues were. In hindsight as an adult now, I wish that someone had given me a Gibbs' slap and asked me, "what in the world are you thinking?"
I felt called to ministry and missions as a sixteen year old. Unfortunately, at that age, I was more focused on missionary dating. To make it worse, I got more focused on the dating aspect rather than the missionary one. I did a great disservice to those young men, because I did not offer them a true Christian witness. To those men, I apologize for not pointing you to The Lord.
When I did take a break from my "missionary dating", I actually set my sights on good boys from church. Many a time I was distracting them from what The Lord wanted to say to them. I was not edifying to my brothers in Christ. To those men, I apologize for causing you to stumble.
So what does this have to do with the Songs of Solomon?
As a youth, I had understood that the Songs were a spiritual symbol of God's love for us. When I got to college, those who were more worldly than I was told me about the physical imagery. As I have grown older, I have learned to see the beautiful image of marriage on varying levels that is depicted within the pages. As I read it again the other day, I saw a new lesson that I wish I had learned years ago.
"I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases, " is repeated three times, including in Song of Solomon 2:7. I used to think that it said not to "awaken my love". However I realized the other day that it was saying love in general and is directed to the young maidens. It is a direction to the young maidens to not entice or arouse love until the proper time. When the time is right, love will come. When I was a maiden, I was trying to do lots of stirring up. Oh, what heartbreak I would have saved myself, and some young men, if I had just waited "until it pleases." How I wish I had been advised to be careful about stirring up through the way I dressed or the way I behaved. Then again maybe I was advised, but I just did not listen. Men are so visual, as the language of Song of Solomon reflects, and any help they get from a young maiden can trigger their imagination. We must be careful as Godly maidens, young and old, to be aware of how our clothing might cause our Christian brothers to stumble in their faith.
In conclusion, I am so grateful for how God protected me and preserved me from a life that could have turned out very different by taking many of those young men out of my life in one way or another. I am grateful that we did not have the modes of communication that we have now when I was a teenager, because I likely would have gotten into much more trouble than I did. I am thankful for those who were praying for me, even when they did not know how close to the edge I was. I pray that I will teach my daughters to be patient and "not stir up or awaken love until it pleases." I actually find myself thankful for how the culture I live in most of the time does overall concern itself with the way a maiden presents herself in her dress, and I find it makes me more conscious of how I myself dress now.