Living Like We Are Leaving

We recently returned from a vacation, where we had lots of fun, but we were glad to return “home.” We returned to the place we call home which is where most of our stuff is, and hopefully the rest will be soon, and where our residency visa says we live. Others say our home is the country that issued our passports. “Home” is a term that is not always clear to us. 

In my quiet time this morning, these verses stuck out to me. 

Genesis 47:9.  And Jacob said to Pharaoh, “The days of the years of my sojourning are 130 years. Few and evil have been the days of the years of my life, and they have not attained to the days of the years of the life of my fathers in the days of their sojourning.”

Sojourning, going to another country, wandering as a stranger. Sojourner, a person who resides temporarily in a place. 

Then Facebook reminded me of this quote that I shared a few years ago. 

“A person who feels at home “fits” with his environment....But we don’t fit here. It’s not our environment. There is no harmony, no rightness with our surroundings. Feeling like an exile is simply feeling a fact.”

I did not record the source of the quote, so I cannot give full credit. 

Despite where we reside, none of the options on earth really seem to feel like home. 

Upon returning from vacation, we had to unpack and do laundry. Then we repacked our go bags. What are go bags? They are bags we can grab in the event that the unexpected happens.  From broken feet to cancer diagnosis, we have had to use our bags and been grateful they were already packed. What kind of go bags? We have one bag each that is a backpack. In the backpack, we carry enough clothes and hygienic items for one night. In our carry-ons, we keep enough clothes and hygienic products to last a week. 

Then at Bible study this week, the ladies asked, “what is in our spiritual go bag?”  We need to have what is necessary to live. Our salvation! What about the Fruit of the Spirit? What about scriptures that have been memorized? What basics do we need to survive a day, a week, or longer? Am I packed and ready to live? 

So we live life in a balance. We live in a place where we are strangers, but we make our earthly home here as much as possible. We live like we are staying, but we keep our bags packed in case we have to leave. One day, we will leave this place, whether for our passport county or for our eternal home. 

Staying or going, we are living like we are leaving. 

Be Audacious!

As I sit on the airplane heading back to the DRC after vacation, my thoughts turn to our real lives. We have called Kinshasa home for six months now. We have been in French language study for about nine months of the last year. We have survived one trimester of our son at boarding school, which ended well despite the rough start. We left Kinshasa with him and are returning without him. Girls have thrived in their school and are looking forward to returning to their friends, even if it is school. 

Though we are still very much in language study, we are also beginning to take on new responsibilities. Part of my language learning time will involve coaching our new teammates as they begin language acquisition. Part of Rich’s language time will be in preparation for training opportunities. As we return it all seems overwhelming. An overwhelming schedule. An overwhelming task for which I feel so inadequate. However it is a task that does not deserve to be done from a feeling of inadequacy. He has called me to this task, and He equips us for that which He calls us to do. 

The church sermon on Sunday was from Galatians 5. The pastor talked about our need to walk by the Spirit, not in the flesh. If I give myself a list of to dos to make my life seem more spiritual, I.e. depending on having Christian music on all the time to keep me calm, I am still trying to live this life in the flesh. As I have tried to do this in the recent past, I know it only puts a temporary fix. Then when the bandaid comes off, that old flesh is exposed also. We must live the life dependent on the Spirit. 

Then yesterday and today I was able to read a book that my mom sent me for Christmas. It is Audacious by Beth Moore. Yes, I read it in one day. I could not stop reading. Why? Because it hit me right at this spot. God has an audacious love for me, for each of us, that lead Him to plan to send His Son before anyone ever knew my name, or yours. When God sacrificed a lamb to clothe Adam and Eve from their sin, God was already planning that Jesus would defeat the enemy by being the final sacrifice. 

The Bible has lots of commands and instructions for how to live. But what is the greatest one? To love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. The second is to love my neighbor as myself. When we love God audaciously, we will love others. When we serve out of duty, we will burn out. When we serve God out of that audacious love, He will do more than we can imagine. 

So will I return to Kinshasa from meetings that talk about faithfulness, a sermon about living in the Spirit, and reading a book about loving Jesus audaciously, and live the same run down life? Or will I live it in abandon to Him and be willing to love Him audaciously? Will I let myself be lead by the Spirit rather than my to do list? Do those things need to get done? Yes, but who will get the glory for how I serve? 

My word for 2018: Audacious! 

Be Audacious! 

Love audaciously! 

Live audaciously! 

As a side note, in thinking about this word “audacious,” I could not help but think of the movie, “Hope Floats.” Is there a time in your life when you were Audacious? Has life worn you down and made you doubt the audacious love that God has for you? Have you gotten comfortable in your abilities and stopped needing Him? “Get out there and get the stink off you!” Let the Lord blow a fresh breath of audacious love over you! Be Audacious! 

Pulled Out of the Pit

Sorry for not writing for a while. I fell into a “pit” from which I had to be lifted. I know I could have written and many of you would have been praying for me, but I did not even know how to express where I was spiritually. Maybe now I can put into words the spiritual journey on which I have been. 

It was such an encouragement in October to see how God was working and get a glimpse of why He brought us to Congo. That encouragement would be a rope to which I clung in the pit. Now, on this side of things, I can say that just as important as that encouragement was in the pit, so important also is the pit to my moving forward. 

As I fell into the pit, I was frustrated and depressed over areas of my life in which I still struggle. After so many years as a Christian, I would think I would be better than I am. People would talk about conversion being radical because we are new creations. So why do I still struggle in these same areas? 

A few years ago, as I expressed similar frustration in a team meeting, a wise team mate said, “well, if it were not that, it would be something else.” My reaction at the time was less than appreciative of this “little ray of sunshine.”

Even Paul struggled, saying, “the things I want to do, I don’t do, and the things I don’t want to do, I do.” Scripture also says that “He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it on the day when Christ returns.” What would be the point of continuing to work on us if we were already as we should be? I am a work in progress.  I am not what I once was but I am not yet what I ought to be. As Mandisa says, “I am just unfinished.” 

So the other day as I listened to the sermon of someone whose name you all know, share about a time recently of feeling completely inadequate for the job ahead of him, it became clear to me too why I had to fall into the pit.  

So why did I need to fall into that pit? After seeing how God had worked to bring us to this place, it would be easy to rely on my own strength, thinking that I was in any way capable of carrying out His work. So I needed the pit, to see that truly it is His working all the way around. If I am equipped, it is because He orchestrated it. If there is any ability in me, it is because He put it there. It is His work and for His glory. Any time I am tempted to think I am able to do what He has laid before me, quickly I will find myself accepting glory for what is His. 

Not sure where you are right now. Not sure if you are in a pit yourself. If so, cling tightly to the Truth of His Word and hold onto it. He will answer when you call upon Him. Listen for His still, small voice.