The One is Worth It

A couple of weeks ago, Rich and I lead a training for the first time in French with our friends and colleagues leading the parts we did not have down yet. As you likely saw on our family ministry page at some point, the training is called, “Tell His Story, tell it often, tell it well...so that it becomes a way of life.” The training is three days long. 

On the first day, we present the orality approach to communicating and the Great Commission as what we are all to be doing. Then we teach them the story of the demoniac from Mark 5. All stories are followed by five questions to help them think through what the Word is saying. Then the group is sent out by twos to share with those in the community and then report back. They then are given home work to retell both the Great Commission story and the story of the demoniac with others that evening. Day two begins with reporting on how their storytelling went the evening before and with teaching Creation and Fall and then Abraham. After learning these stories, participants are taught how to properly give their testimony of salvation, which often results in some realizing that they are not actually saved. The day ends with a retelling of both Creation and Fall with Abraham as one story and the challenge to retell those stories with their testimony that evening. Day three begins with reporting on their storytelling and then goes into teaching about the Prophets and Jesus. The day ends with a retelling of the five parts (Creation and Fall, Abraham, Prophets, Jesus, and the Great Commission) in one story that takes about ten minutes. 

At this last training, on the first day, Rich taught the Great Commission Story, and then I taught the story of the Demoniac. The questions sparked lots of good answers. The questions included “what did you like about this story?” and “what did you not like about this story?” One of the things that was pointed out that was not liked was that Jesus did not let the man who had been healed follow him but rather told him to return to his family and village and tell all that the Lord had done for him. Jesus left him alone to be a light there. 

I was in tears at this point. I did share with the group why. My heart still hurts that we had to leave our home in Senegal as quickly as we did. My heart hurts that we were not able to continue to disciple the believers there. My heart aches for those few left alone to carry out the work. But God spoke to my heart in that moment, in front of that group of believers in Congo. Even if there was only one that came from Jesus crossing the sea that day, he was worth it. Even if he was left alone physically, he was not left alone in spirit. Even if the number of believers in the village in Senegal were not as high as we would have wanted them to be in order to have strong support, they were not left alone, but they were left with the Holy Spirit. Even if there was only one that came because of our time there, that one would be worth it. 

God heals in His own time, whether it be the demoniac or me or my children. God has brought us to Congo. A lot of healing is needed in a lot of lives. He is the only one that can heal. Trust Him to heal you too when you come humbly before Him! 

Fighting a Battle I was not Meant to Fight

So earlier today I posted about some things I learned last week. This morning as I was thinking about sharing that post, a new lesson came to mind. 

I am a sinner. (Not a new lesson.) I needed a Savior to make me right with God because I could not do it on my own. (Also not new.) I cannot do this life on my own, so I need the Spirit to enable me. (Not new but reminded.) 

Last night in a Study with friends, we were reading 2 Chronicles 20. The people sought the Lord in prayer and fasting because their enemies were coming against them. All the people—- men, women, children, little ones—- were in the temple praying. The Lord revealed that the army was to go out praising the Lord for what He would do and then stand by to see His deliverance. Then the people returned to Jerusalem once again praising Him. 

I have been trying to fight a battle against the enemy—-myself, my sin— that I was not meant to fight. I need to seek the Lord in prayer, recall His faithfulness in the past, praise Him as I go into battle —-live my daily life—- and stand to see His deliverance. When I see that deliverance, I will continue the praising. 

“Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.” V. 15

Thankful to have a better battle plan than the one I have been using lately. 

“Give thanks to the Lord, for His love endures forever.” V. 21

As a result of the other lesson and this one, yesterday and today have gone much smoother than the last two weeks have. Grateful to God for His deliverance and giving Him praise. His love indeed endures forever! 

Looking at Things All Wrong

In the past, when asking why God gave my children to me rather than someone else, I have comforted myself, and likewise others, that He had some purpose in giving them to me and not someone else. So I should not try to be like someone else. When asking myself why He has brought me to serve Him where we do, I knew it was His calling but somehow thought also because He desired to use gifts that He had placed within me. 

Last week though, under the strain of the weight of my sin, I began to wonder again. (No one knows the weight of our sin like we ourselves.) Why did God call me here to minister, when I remain weighted down by my own sin? Why would God give me this husband and children when I find myself cursing them more than blessing them with my words? How can He ever use me in the work here? Why does my family have to put up with me? 

Then as I read in 1 Samuel and read in Pslams, it occurred to me again that He did not choose me to serve Him in this place or care for my family for the sake of others. He has put me in a place where I realize my complete lost ness without Him so that I can be completely dependent on Him. Everything in our lives is to make us more like Jesus, to make us holy as He is holy, to sanctify us. 

God did not bring me here to serve because there is something in me but to do a work in me. Being in this place at this time is to be sanctifying, to make me holy, even if it means exposing my sin to me so that I can be cleansed of it. God did not give me my children because I deserve them (because I don’t) but to teach me to depend on Him for wisdom and grace and joy when I am foolish. God gave me my husband (bless his heart) to teach me to submit myself and honor another, rather than thinking of myself. Twenty-one years of marriage, and I am still learning to respect him as God has instructed me to do. 

I am a work in progress. I am not what I once was, and I am not yet what I should be. He who began this good work in me is faithful to complete it on that day Christ returns. I apologize to those around me who have to suffer with my sinfulness until that day. If you see me letting my flesh overpower the Spirit within me, help me see it. Please do not let me continue that way. Show me, too, some grace, and I promise to show you some too. 

Soldiers Fall on the Field of Battle

Missionaries who die as a result of militants attacking where they are serving are fallen soldiers in a spiritual battle, right?  I mean, that is a no brainer. But what about those who are just going about their daily lives and find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time, like eating at a restaurant? What about those who die of illness, because I would not have said my cancer was necessarily a spiritual battle?  Or what about a car accident? Those things happen in the comforts of their home country too, right? So, are they still fallen soldiers in the spiritual battle? Tragic events, yes, but fallen soldiers in battle? 

I confess that I did not always think so. I thought of it as the same as if they died in their home country, since it was in a means that could easily happen there. Maybe that was because I was wanting to comfort my parents that car accidents could happen anywhere. On March 12, a car accident occurred near my parents house and there too was loss of life. So what makes it different, what changed for me to realize I was wrong? 

Randy and Kathy Arnett came to Congo to lead a training on Neopentecostalization, to equip pastors with the Word to “battle” the prosperity heresy that is so prevalent. This training would equip these soldiers to do battle in the enemy territory. On March 14, Randy and Kathy headed to the interior of Congo with Jeff and Barbara Singerman. When I first heard about the accident and about Kathy’s death, I was stunned and yet knew immediately that this was warfare. The enemy was not going to let go of his stronghold easily. I was with my language helper who offered comfort that soldiers fall on the battle field. 

Later, as we heard about Randy, I was even more sure of the battle that was being waged. Randy’s work to educate and equip pastors for this battle had spread all over Africa and was taking back places that the enemy had blinded. Now, who would take up that mantle? Who would lead the soldiers into battle? 

The next day as a sweet Congolese friend and her husband visited Barbara Singerman in the hospital, they repeated the phrase my language helper had shared about soldiers falling in battle. 

I was wrong. I had been wrong for a long time. Yes, car accidents do happen in my home country and can be fatal, but the fact remains, it was the work of the Lord that had Randy and Kathy Arnett in Congo at that time, on that road. They died on the field of battle. As a couple, they looked forward to years ahead in service to the Lord and yet were also aware of His sovereignty. 

That Congolese couple as they visited with Barbara stressed the importance that the rest of us as soldiers would continue to press forward into enemy territory and raise the Lord’s banner. 

So that is what we will do. We will do battle. We will take back territory from the enemy. We will raise the Lord’s banner. We will not let the lives of our fellow soldiers be lost in vain. 

Palm Sunday In a New Light

Whenever I have contemplated Palm Sunday, I have been struck by how fickle humanity can be. One day they are singing, “Hosanna,” to Jesus as he entered Jerusalem, and just a few days later the people are yelling, “Crucify Him!” How quickly and easily people can change. Though I knew this, I continued to be stupefied by this drastic contrast. 

Recently, I have come to have a new look at this day. 

In the culture in which we now live, the whole process from death to burial is the funeral arrangements. The place where the body lays and the family grieves has its own name. The grieving place is a place where friends and family can visit and grieve together. Many will spend the night before the burial together, sleeping in the same place as the departed loved one. Many of the tribes here will pass the night singing together. In order to help people to know where the grieving place is, a palm branch will be placed in the ground down the road from and be pointed toward the grieving place. 

The palm branch points toward the grieving. 

What never made sense to me before, the joy of waving palm branches and singing preceding the cross, now makes sense. The palm branches point to the grief ahead. 

But O the joy that lays on the other side for those that know the rest of the story! Death does not have the last word! Jesus’ resurrection conquers death and brings life everlasting to those that follow Him! Jesus alone changes our mourning into rejoicing. 

Trust the Process!

I keep repeating these three words on a weekly, sometimes daily basis. 

Learning language is difficult no matter how you do it. No method is perfect. It can be frustrating to not be able to say all you want to say when you want to say it. No matter how many words you have, there is always at least one you really wish you knew or could pronounce correctly. 

The program we have gone to using in the last couple of years is called the Growing Participator Approach. In a lot of ways it is patterned after how we learn our first language as children. We first only hear it, then we speak though simply, and then we begin to speak well and begin to read. Rather than a teacher or professor, we have nurturers who nurture us into the new culture, in similar way that our parents nurtured us into their community. While the approach has a beginning, there is no real end because we are always learning something new about this new culture. 

Last year as we began this approach to learning French, our language coach kept repeating those three little words. Now as I coach our new teammates, I find myself repeating the same words. After a month, they already have almost 900 words in their word log. One may start to point to an object and then pulls the hand back as they second guess themselves. “Trust the process!” Then they begin to point without overthinking it. Same thing happens when they start to speak. They begin to say the word they want to say but stop themselves in the middle of the word. “Trust the process!” Then they begin to let the words flow, may not be conjugated exactly, but they are only a month in to it. 

Last week, as I thought about it and was having my quiet time, I heard God whispering those same three words. “Trust the process!” Trust what He is doing in William’s life and stop trying to fix everything. “Trust the process!” Trust what He is doing in my life and stop fighting against it. Surrender to His work in me. Stop trying to think I can do better or trying to do it in my own strength. Let Him shape me and mold me into the person He created me to be. “Trust the process!” Whether we ever see our stuff from Senegal or not, we are here now where God has moved us, and He is providing for us. 

So to whatever you might be going through, “Trust the process!” 

Living Like We Are Leaving

We recently returned from a vacation, where we had lots of fun, but we were glad to return “home.” We returned to the place we call home which is where most of our stuff is, and hopefully the rest will be soon, and where our residency visa says we live. Others say our home is the country that issued our passports. “Home” is a term that is not always clear to us. 

In my quiet time this morning, these verses stuck out to me. 

Genesis 47:9.  And Jacob said to Pharaoh, “The days of the years of my sojourning are 130 years. Few and evil have been the days of the years of my life, and they have not attained to the days of the years of the life of my fathers in the days of their sojourning.”

Sojourning, going to another country, wandering as a stranger. Sojourner, a person who resides temporarily in a place. 

Then Facebook reminded me of this quote that I shared a few years ago. 

“A person who feels at home “fits” with his environment....But we don’t fit here. It’s not our environment. There is no harmony, no rightness with our surroundings. Feeling like an exile is simply feeling a fact.”

I did not record the source of the quote, so I cannot give full credit. 

Despite where we reside, none of the options on earth really seem to feel like home. 

Upon returning from vacation, we had to unpack and do laundry. Then we repacked our go bags. What are go bags? They are bags we can grab in the event that the unexpected happens.  From broken feet to cancer diagnosis, we have had to use our bags and been grateful they were already packed. What kind of go bags? We have one bag each that is a backpack. In the backpack, we carry enough clothes and hygienic items for one night. In our carry-ons, we keep enough clothes and hygienic products to last a week. 

Then at Bible study this week, the ladies asked, “what is in our spiritual go bag?”  We need to have what is necessary to live. Our salvation! What about the Fruit of the Spirit? What about scriptures that have been memorized? What basics do we need to survive a day, a week, or longer? Am I packed and ready to live? 

So we live life in a balance. We live in a place where we are strangers, but we make our earthly home here as much as possible. We live like we are staying, but we keep our bags packed in case we have to leave. One day, we will leave this place, whether for our passport county or for our eternal home. 

Staying or going, we are living like we are leaving. 

Be Audacious!

As I sit on the airplane heading back to the DRC after vacation, my thoughts turn to our real lives. We have called Kinshasa home for six months now. We have been in French language study for about nine months of the last year. We have survived one trimester of our son at boarding school, which ended well despite the rough start. We left Kinshasa with him and are returning without him. Girls have thrived in their school and are looking forward to returning to their friends, even if it is school. 

Though we are still very much in language study, we are also beginning to take on new responsibilities. Part of my language learning time will involve coaching our new teammates as they begin language acquisition. Part of Rich’s language time will be in preparation for training opportunities. As we return it all seems overwhelming. An overwhelming schedule. An overwhelming task for which I feel so inadequate. However it is a task that does not deserve to be done from a feeling of inadequacy. He has called me to this task, and He equips us for that which He calls us to do. 

The church sermon on Sunday was from Galatians 5. The pastor talked about our need to walk by the Spirit, not in the flesh. If I give myself a list of to dos to make my life seem more spiritual, I.e. depending on having Christian music on all the time to keep me calm, I am still trying to live this life in the flesh. As I have tried to do this in the recent past, I know it only puts a temporary fix. Then when the bandaid comes off, that old flesh is exposed also. We must live the life dependent on the Spirit. 

Then yesterday and today I was able to read a book that my mom sent me for Christmas. It is Audacious by Beth Moore. Yes, I read it in one day. I could not stop reading. Why? Because it hit me right at this spot. God has an audacious love for me, for each of us, that lead Him to plan to send His Son before anyone ever knew my name, or yours. When God sacrificed a lamb to clothe Adam and Eve from their sin, God was already planning that Jesus would defeat the enemy by being the final sacrifice. 

The Bible has lots of commands and instructions for how to live. But what is the greatest one? To love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. The second is to love my neighbor as myself. When we love God audaciously, we will love others. When we serve out of duty, we will burn out. When we serve God out of that audacious love, He will do more than we can imagine. 

So will I return to Kinshasa from meetings that talk about faithfulness, a sermon about living in the Spirit, and reading a book about loving Jesus audaciously, and live the same run down life? Or will I live it in abandon to Him and be willing to love Him audaciously? Will I let myself be lead by the Spirit rather than my to do list? Do those things need to get done? Yes, but who will get the glory for how I serve? 

My word for 2018: Audacious! 

Be Audacious! 

Love audaciously! 

Live audaciously! 

As a side note, in thinking about this word “audacious,” I could not help but think of the movie, “Hope Floats.” Is there a time in your life when you were Audacious? Has life worn you down and made you doubt the audacious love that God has for you? Have you gotten comfortable in your abilities and stopped needing Him? “Get out there and get the stink off you!” Let the Lord blow a fresh breath of audacious love over you! Be Audacious! 

Pulled Out of the Pit

Sorry for not writing for a while. I fell into a “pit” from which I had to be lifted. I know I could have written and many of you would have been praying for me, but I did not even know how to express where I was spiritually. Maybe now I can put into words the spiritual journey on which I have been. 

It was such an encouragement in October to see how God was working and get a glimpse of why He brought us to Congo. That encouragement would be a rope to which I clung in the pit. Now, on this side of things, I can say that just as important as that encouragement was in the pit, so important also is the pit to my moving forward. 

As I fell into the pit, I was frustrated and depressed over areas of my life in which I still struggle. After so many years as a Christian, I would think I would be better than I am. People would talk about conversion being radical because we are new creations. So why do I still struggle in these same areas? 

A few years ago, as I expressed similar frustration in a team meeting, a wise team mate said, “well, if it were not that, it would be something else.” My reaction at the time was less than appreciative of this “little ray of sunshine.”

Even Paul struggled, saying, “the things I want to do, I don’t do, and the things I don’t want to do, I do.” Scripture also says that “He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it on the day when Christ returns.” What would be the point of continuing to work on us if we were already as we should be? I am a work in progress.  I am not what I once was but I am not yet what I ought to be. As Mandisa says, “I am just unfinished.” 

So the other day as I listened to the sermon of someone whose name you all know, share about a time recently of feeling completely inadequate for the job ahead of him, it became clear to me too why I had to fall into the pit.  

So why did I need to fall into that pit? After seeing how God had worked to bring us to this place, it would be easy to rely on my own strength, thinking that I was in any way capable of carrying out His work. So I needed the pit, to see that truly it is His working all the way around. If I am equipped, it is because He orchestrated it. If there is any ability in me, it is because He put it there. It is His work and for His glory. Any time I am tempted to think I am able to do what He has laid before me, quickly I will find myself accepting glory for what is His. 

Not sure where you are right now. Not sure if you are in a pit yourself. If so, cling tightly to the Truth of His Word and hold onto it. He will answer when you call upon Him. Listen for His still, small voice.