My life is not my own!

Well before I get started, this is likely to be very emotional so get your kleenex ready.  This blog stems from some very emotional moments lately by Rich and myself.  Don't be thrown off by them though; keep reading and see if the Lord speaks to your heart as He has spoken to mine.  I am going to work backwards on my timeline so stay with me.

This morning I was awakened by a dream of what may happen in a few months.  I and the children will be coming to the capitol a month or so before the baby is due.  Rich will bring us, spend a few days getting us settled, and then will return to our home for a few weeks until closer to the due date.  In my dream, I went into labor before Rich had come.  I proceeded to call him to come and then go to the hospital.  But after arriving, it was discovered that things were not moving along as they should and that something was hindering it from doing so.  I then had to make the decision on my own to go ahead with an emergency C-section without my husband by my side.  I called him quickly to tell him what was going on and to let him know he could stop driving quite so fast.  We would all be there when he arrived.  Well, I was greatly relieved when I woke up that this was just a dream, but at the same time had to deal with the fact that this was all a very real possibility.  I think this stemmed from a friend recently having to have a C-section, which was not her desire either.  Having to make that decision on my own would not be easy nor fun at all, but I could do it if necessary, particularly after a conversation with Rich a few weeks ago.

One Monday afternoon, Rich came home from class and I was sitting outside watching the children play and attempting to study.  I looked terribly pale to him and completely lacked all energy.  I had already been diagnosed with anemia and was trying to do what I could nutritionally to fix it as well as take my vitamin, but it did not always stay down.  Apparently what I was doing was not enough.  The way I looked combined with what Where There is No Doctor said about anemia quite frankly scared Rich.  The thought of losing me in the delivery of our child was more than he could bare.  He said it would be hard to see the child and not hurt for me.  So needless to say, we stepped up our efforts and got my prescription filled for a stronger medicine to treat the anemia as well as became even more proactive about my nutrition.  My husband and all my children need me too much to not take the best care possible.

So, my life is not my own!  It is not now because I have children depending on me for care and nurture and teaching.  It is not because I have a husband who desperately needs a helpmate.  But that really is not new, but rather has been the case since we were married, whether we realized it fully or not. 1 Corinthians 7:4 says, "The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does."   But further still, it has been a long time since my life was my own.  1 Corinthians 6:20 states, "For you have been bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body."  As a child, I made a profession of faith and claimed that I had been bought with a price.  I have struggled over the years with my own thoughts of how things should be and with the desire to "own" some part of me. But with the recent events, I am reminded that I am not my own, not just for my husband and children, but for my Lord who paid the ultimate price that I might have life more abundantly.  I am no longer a slave to sin which brings death, but a slave to righteousness which brings LIFE!  What a blessing after so many years, that I continue to be drawn deeper into the heart of the Almighty Father!

I pray that each of you knows the joy that this LIFE is, knowing the freedom that resides in the fact that your life is not your own.  May the Father bless you today anew!