"It takes a village to raise a child"??

This week I found myself apologizing twice to neighbors over situations with my children.  The first time was because I made a hasty defense of my child without knowing all the facts and had to go apologize after hearing the whole situation.  The second time I was trying to find out why my child had been disciplined by someone else because he did not know what he had done.  Sometimes the phrase, "It takes a village to raise a child," is a good thing and sometimes not so much.  Here is my story!

Wednesday this week, I was staying inside to study while Mariama and William had gone outside to play.  William had gone to a house down the street, where I have frequented often and consider them to be friends.  I know he can play there safely and that if he does anything wrong, he will be redirected.  But so far as I can tell, he plays well with the children there and the adults like him.  Mariama had chosen to stay outside our house and play near .  Our guard was able to watch her and she was close enough to get water or let me know she needed anything.  After a while I heard Mariama hollering and a young woman was inside my gate making Mariama scream by teasing her.  I quickly told the woman who works next door to leave and that she ought to listen when a child says to leave them alone.  I came back inside to work more on what I was doing and then was called to come back outside.  A banana seller had come.  While out there I mentioned something about the situation to my guard.  He informed me that Mariama had initiated the teasing with the young woman by playing with her.  So the young woman was simply responding to what Mariama did and had come inside the gate because Mariama had run to hide.  When I understood that Mariama had started it all by acting improperly towards an adult in the first place, I had to eat some humble pie.  I went next door to apologize and explained my hasty reaction.  Mariama has had some rough days recently that I attribute to culture shock for lack of another explanation.  She said it was no problem and no need for apology, and then I stayed a bit to visit with the rest of the house.  First apology for the week down.

Today I was once again working on stuff inside the house and the children were sent outside to play in front of the house.  After quite a while Mariama came running to the house saying that William needed me to come quickly.  I went outside to see my son covered in dirt, not an uncommon site.  Mariama was telling me that a girl had hit him, and he was saying it hurt.    I asked what had happened and the children that had seen what happened confirmed it.  I had to pray quickly before going over there that I would not overreact but listen calmly.  I greeted as I went into the home and they directed me to the master of the house.  I went to greet him and since they did not come to me, I just began telling them I had a problem.  I said that someone from the house had hit my children and that I needed to know why so that I could explain it to them.  The master of the house denied it but the woman who had done it began to explain to him.  Then she came to me to explain.  I said that they did not know why because no one said anything to them.  She explained that they had been told to leave the dirt alone before and that they had been playing in it again.  The lady of the house came behind her to explain what the sand was for.  I said that they had not understood when they were told.  I said that no one had told me.  They did not understand the language well enough yet and that I could not correct them if I had not been told.    I apologized for myself and for them not obeying and messing up their dirt.    Another man came up behind me and began explaining also that it was good for the children to play in it because they get it in their eyes and it was dangerous for them.  I agreed.  I said they understand some but not all the language yet, so that is why they had not listened before.  It seemed to be resolved after  I apologized some more and we returned home.    Second apology for the week down, or is it the first for this week?? 

"It takes a village to raise a child" is nice when you don't have to worry about whether your children will be safe or not but is not so great when others discipline your child in a language they do not yet understand completely.  But you cannot have one without the other, I suppose, and thus I cannot relish one aspect and have too much contempt for the other.  Give me wisdom, Lord, in how to parent and help the children learn the language quickly, so that they can understand what not to do.  Lord, help me to make my children feel secure and let them know that I am always on their side first, but help them to learn that they are not able to do whatever they want either.  Teach me Your ways, O Lord!