Why Does It Matter How I wrap my Skirt?

Today was one of those days that I am so glad we are in the language class we are. Rich and I are the only students who have been in this country more than a year, and we are certainly the only ones with village experience. Our teachers are from the capital cities of Ivory Coast and DRCongo. 

Every day we have a thirty minute break in the middle of our class. Sometimes we stay in French but relax a bit. Sometimes we talk in English.  Sometimes we talk about culture. Sometimes we talk about nothing important. Today we talked about important. 

An American lady also learning French but further along than we are was wearing a lovely top that sparked a lively discussion about local clothing that is revealing by our standards but not by theirs, compared to things we think nothing of but are revealing in this culture. Rich shared that even how the wrap skirt is tied can be a sign of a prostitute. One of the ladies insisted that it did not matter because she is not one and can wear it however she chooses. I likened it to a conversation we had recently in our small group regarding nose piercings and anklets in our future home. (Yep, gotta get rid of that nose ring before we move, so people do not think I am a "working girl".)

After some time passed during which the insistent lady left the room, she returned and sat beside me. When the conversation died down and I thought we were going to resume class, she asked, "why does it matter how you wear your skirt?" 

I began with the practical answer. The people here already have an idea about what Christians are like, because they think all television from America reflects Christian values and all Americans are Christians. As a result, men often will speak to me in a way that they ought not to speak. Since they think we are promiscuous anyway, I will break that idea if I can. 

Secondly but more importantly, I referred to the Bible. Paul said that he would become all things to all people that some might be saved. If how I wrap my skirt is going to distract someone from hearing the Gospel, I am going to avoid it. In this culture it is believed that a woman in that time of the month is unclean and that God cannot hear her prayers. Some things need to be addressed, and some things just do not matter. I eat pork, but not in front of my Muslim friends. If things like nail polish and how I wrap my skirts is going to get in the way, then let go of it. 

She was grateful for the explanation, and I was so glad she asked. After class I remembered another story about a topic that did not need to be let go. I went back to her and told her of the time one of Rich's friends took us to his village. While there, he took us to visit his fiancée, who was sick. I asked to pray for her to feel better. As I began to pray, the friend laughed. I am to this day not completely sure why he laughed. Maybe it was the idea of a white person praying. Maybe it was the idea of a woman praying. Maybe because I dared to call God my Father. Whatever the reason, I paused my prayer to inform him that he was not going to disrespect my prayer time, because I would not disrespect his, and I returned to my prayer time. 

When it is worth making a deal about, stand up for what is right, absolutely. However, when it is of little or no consequence, let it go for the sake of the Gospel.