I don't belong here!!!!

Ok, don't get scared by the title.  I am not freaking out.  I am not saying we are moving back to the states.  Just keep reading.

It often happens here as we are driving along roads, especially long drives.  We say to one another or just to ourselves, "We live in Africa!"  You would think after the preparation it took to get here and the 16 months that we have lived here that we would be passed this.  But I have heard of others who asked veteran workers here when that feeling goes away, to which the veterans responded, "I don't know.  When it does, I'll let you know." 

Not too long ago, I had one of those moments, but it was more specific.  It was the "I am in the minority" realization.  As I drive through neighborhoods here, I find myself surprised to see pale faces, especially ones that I do not know.  I am used to driving and walking amongst a sea of dark faces, most of the time.  I can dress like they do, speak as they do, and even carry my baby on my back like they do, and still I will be the object of stares.  In fact when I carry the baby on my back, I get corrected if she just slips an inch, where as the local women can have their babies practically hanging down to their knees with no one correcting them.  No matter how much I try to be as one of them, my skin color will always give me away. 

On that note, it is difficult being stereotyped for one's skin color.  Because I am white, I "am rich, speak French, do not speak a local language, am unreligious and do not pray or know God."  All of the above things are untrue.  It is assumed that we do not know the culture or customs here.  People may come when they need help expecting us to give them all they need because we are "rich", when the culture is to only give some of what is needed thus sharing the burden of providing with others.  It is assumed that strangers can come begging for something from us, without greeting properly, which is thoroughly improper.

Sorry for that rabbit trail. Back to my point.  As I drove our truck through a sea of dark-faced children, I was reminded that I do not belong here.  But it is more than skin color that separates me.  Many of those around me are not followers of Jesus.  Many of those that claim to be Christians are catholic and are only so by birth, because they were born into a catholic family.  In fact, most of the people here are their religion because of the family that they are born into.  There is very little personal belief.  For example, the religious myth I touched on earlier.  I am American and thus I am a Christian for that reason.  TV shows from America must also be Christian.  So what is seen on TV is what I am like. Wrong!

"My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world even as I am not of it.  Sanctify them by your truth; your word is truth.  As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world." John 17:15-18

I do not belong in this world, much less in this specific place.  I pray that you will know the Father's presence when you do not belong.