A Whirlwind

I knew that what we suspected was going to be true. I was called into the office. I sat down at the desk and began talking with the doctor. He updated his information on me. He still had my age written as 29. Heeheehee! Then we talked about the checkup for which I was coming. I also told him about the suspicious lump, which needed to be checked. He asked me to go to the bathroom to change for the exam.

I went to change and came out to be weighed. Oh joy! Then I sat down to begin the exam. As soon as the exam began, the doctor was concerned. He knew something was not right. He did an ultrasound and was able to measure the lump. He asked when I would be traveling. I responded, "Next week I will be traveling back to our town." He emphatically answered, "No, no you are not. You need to go somewhere to get this checked."

What? I thought maybe he would say we need to check on it in a few months. I thought maybe he could do something there. However, our country does not have adequate mammogram capabilities. He wanted me to have a mammogram and biopsy as soon as possible.

We finished the exam and talked about our medical office personnel. As I went to get changed out of my exam "attire", I called one of those medical personnel to let him share his findings. The wheels were set in motion.

I got done and drove back to the place we were staying. Rich and I met with our medical personnel to discuss our options. It was agreed that sending me to the United States for the tests he was recommending was the best option. The wheels were rolling.

Later that evening, I had a ticket booked back to the states for three days later and an appointment with a ob/gyn doctor. The next day my family general practitioner in the states was calling to arrange for the process to go faster by getting me straight into a specialist. Saturday I spent time with my family and relaxed as much as possible. Sunday I was on a plane across the ocean and had the opportunity to sit next to some really neat people.

Monday I had my mammogram. The ultrasound there showed two larger lumps and a smaller one.  The doctor at the center was 90% sure it would be benign. He said he would bet it was not cancer if he were a betting man.  

Tuesday I saw my specialist.  She too felt that it was unlikely that the lumps were cancer. For the average woman, they would seek to check it in six months. However, since my situation is not average, she went ahead with the biopsy.

Wednesday, everyone was surprised when the results came back early and the results were positive. Well, I cannot say that I was surprised completely. I was more surprised by the results coming back so early, not so much that it was positive.

The next day more tests were done to give more information for what type of cancer I have and the wheels were set in motion for my husband and children to join me in the states. I was more anxious about him traveling alone with the children across the ocean with a concerned heart than I was about my cancer. However, the same God who is big enough to handle my cancer is also big enough to get my family across the ocean in peace.

"What is that? Nothing, I'm sure."

This is the day that The Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.
This is also the day that this blog shifts from a blog about God's work in Africa to God's work in me.
Of course, I have written blogs along the way about what God was doing in my own heart, struggles I was facing in my life, things He was teaching me personally. However, this blog is about to go to a whole new level of personal.

Some may say, "How can you share that? How can you put that all out there?"  Well, I have been doing that all along the way. Others might not process things the way I do. I am a writer. I always have been, though at times in my life I allowed myself to get too busy. As a wise woman told me recently, "Your journey will not look like anyone else's. Don't make it anyone else's but yours." Others may retreat to a cave within themselves. That is not me, at least not at this point. I am a writer.

So to begin, we must go back to the beginning. At the beginning of 2014, I felt a lump in my left breast.  I think I blew it off.  To be more precise though, my husband felt the lump one day in ?January or February.  That is the day we took mental note of it to keep checking on it.

Thoughts like, "I'm too young for that to be anything." "I have nursed all three of my children for a year each. That is supposed to help prevent anything." "I don't have time for that. We have too much work to do. I have young teammates to encourage and mentor as they learn language."

As if to show me that He had all those things under control that I thought I had to be there for, God began pulling us away from our town. March had a homeschool conference, but we had to go up early to get Visas done and for us all to see the dentist. A one week conference turned into a two week trip away from home. Then we had the opportunity to go to some training in Zambia in April and May. We took a few days before the conference to vacation a couple of days down to Victoria Falls and before that we had to go up early to get Mariama to the doctor for her boils. When the training was over, we had some college students come join our team for a few weeks and their orientation kept us in the capital a few more days. One month of training turned into almost two months away from our home. While we were away during this time, our teammates had been going out to share in villages with a local brother, and they had been able to see many open doors and two baptisms. I was humbled. God did not really need me. God was going to do the work whether I was there or not.

During the time that those college students were there, amidst all of the activity we had going on, in the quiet moments, once again the lump was felt. Not that it had ever gone away, but my husband and I began to grow more concerned. Rephrase. I was not concerned because I was still rationalizing. In addition to all the arguments I gave earlier, I said to myself, "It's just hormones or something. It somehow has something to do with pre-menstruation."  My husband grew more insistent that I go get it seen about in the capital. I reassured him that I would when we went up for a retreat and then our supply shopping. I would go for my routine checkup. He wanted me to let our medical friends know what was going on. I made a passing mention in an email to them about other things that I would be having something suspicious checked out.

After the retreat, we went to the capital for a few days of vacation. Then we began some grocery shopping and doctor visits. One of those was to see my doctor, who had delivered both Mariama and Lydia-Ann. As I sat waiting to see him, my heart began to be heavy within me. I knew something was about to change. I knew I was going to leave there different.  I knew....