Rules of the Road

I wrote this blog several weeks ago but am just now getting a chance to post.

"He who looks, waits."

"Don't look if you don't want to buy."

Upon our return to our country, I knew I was going to have to practice driving to get used to it again. I had to remember how to drive a standard, diesel machine. I had to get used to the roads, and yes, I had to get used to the traffic. 

One morning I drove downtown to visit my doctor to say thank you for everything he had done. Finding a parking spot was a challenge but in the end not all that difficult. After a long wait and a quick visit, I was back on my way. Getting back out of downtown was just as crazy as getting there. 

A day later, I needed to return some home school resources to a closet we keep. These resources were ones I had ordered last year and then never got to use because we left. On the way across town, I was totally intent on my driving, because it had rained the night before and I needed to remember how to get to my destination. On the way back however, some thoughts came to mind. 

First was the rule I mentioned earlier, "He who looks, waits." With so many people, if you look to see whose turn it is, you are the one who will wait, and wait, and wait. As a result, not a lot of looking happens. While looking to see that you are not going to hit someone or be hit is a good thing, you may never go at all if you wait for a clear opening. Life is like that a lot. We need to be aware of our surroundings, but if we look too long, we may never move forward. Sometimes you just have to start moving. If you overthink the intersection, you may not  move forward at all. 

Second, I was reminded to keep my eyes open, in spite of "don't look if you don't want to buy." I got up to an intersection where various sellers walk up and down offering their wares to those driving by them. If you look at them, it is assumed that you are interested in purchasing said items and the seller will come to your window. In most cases, I am not looking to buy anything they have, so I try not to look at them at all. However, at this same intersection, young boys ranging in age from four to ten can be seen begging for money for their caretaker. (I have written other blogs about these Talibe boys.) If I don't look at the sellers, I also do not see the beggar boys. I miss seeing their lostness. I miss seeing those who are desperate for kindness. Sometimes I have something for them and sometimes I don't, since we try not to give them money. (See other blogs for explanation.)  If I close my eyes to the distractions, I also miss what really matters. 

I am trying to remember to keep my eyes open but not look too long either. 

"We are the Only Ones Leaving."

Sage advice I was given my neighbors who were moving the day before we did two years ago. I thought I understood at the time what it meant, but I have really come to understand it this time around. 

After thirteen months, we have spent what time we could with people.  As a whole, if we really wanted to spend the time and felt it was reciprocated, then we did. While with some people, time is never enough, no matter how much of it you have together, and others you feel close to without it being a large quantity of time. So as our time drew to a close, I did not feel the rush to spend time with people like I did two years ago. Don't get me wrong, there are people I wish we could have gotten together with more, but overall, my heart is full of the sweet moments we did have. Thus, when it came time to focus on packing and play dates had to be forfeited, I was ok with that.  Rich and I knew what had to be done to get prepared to leave. We could not rush from one thing to another and still get ready. We were the only ones who could do the packing, because we were the only ones leaving. 

That coin had another side though. When it came down to leaving, we could not expect people to drop their lives to say goodbye to us. Our time was short and it was hard to plan ahead. We seized opportunities that arose at the last minute. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. People have their lives that will go on once we leave. After all, we are the only ones leaving. 

When we boarded the plane after our 8 month stateside in 2013, I felt like there was just not enough time. Now after 13 months in the states, I feel like we had more than enough, maybe too much. It is a strange thing to leave a place that should feel like home because it is filled with family, literally and spiritually, to go to a place that feels like home, where we have so little family. Just makes me long all the more for that eternal home, with no more goodbyes. Heaven is my real home. I am just a stranger passing through.