A Year Later

I wrote this blog last week but then did not post it. So, the days are actually two weeks ago now, but you get the idea. 

One year. 365 days. Has it really been that long? Has it only been that long? 

Last Monday was one year since I left Senegal.

Last Tuesday was a year since my first Mammogram and biopsy. 

Last Thursday was a year since I got the official diagnosis of cancer. 

Saturday was a year since I first talked with my doctor about the options regarding surgery.

Yesterday was a year since I saw some of my family for the first time post-diagnosis and saw a friend whose mother had been through breast cancer twice. 

Today is a year since I first worshipped post-diagnosis and was encouraged by another survivor that this would be my journey, not someone else's.

A year ago tomorrow, my family left Senegal to join me here. 

Some days seemed to never end. I feel like I missed out on a lot with my children. In some ways the year seems like a blur, going by so fast and me not remembering all of it. On the other hand, I am grateful for those who stepped in to help with meals and transporting children, so that Rich could care for me and I could help the kids when I was able. I am thankful for the people we have met this year, who have blessed us beyond measure. 

So how am I doing? 

I do not have as much energy as I did a year ago, but I have so much more than I did earlier in this process. Thus I have to choose carefully on what I will spend my energy. I have slowed down, for which my husband is probably thankful. I have learned to give more responsibility to my children regarding caring for the home, for which they are probably not so thankful. 

I have hot flashes as a result of my treatments, but I am managing those.  

I sometimes begin to say something but then get flooded with thoughts, so I have to pause to gather my thoughts to speak clearly, and even stumble at that point. I tend to be forgetful. Both of these I attribute to what is called "chemo brain."

I am mostly recovered from surgery, but tight hugs still hurt, as I found out yesterday.

I am still having trouble remembering to take my medicine every day, but I am getting better. 

A year later, through everything, I am more certain than ever, that my God is able! I shared how God had laid the story of Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego on my heart. My God is able to deliver me, but even if He does not, I will not bow to another. Through everything, my source of peace has been Jesus. No other name under heaven by which we can be saved and no other name promises assurance of eternal life. I had peace through everything this year knowing where I would go if I did not beat the cancer. I had peace knowing that God would care for my husband and children if I were not here to do so. (Truly He is the One caring for them daily even when I am here.)   Because I did not have to worry about the outcome, I was able to have peace throughout the journey. I was drawn closer to Him through His Word as I went through chemotherapy and surgery. Knowing Him, there is no greater thing! 

Celebration Badges

Someone asked me the other day what my favorite thing about our trip to Disney was. After having so many things come to mind and telling them, it occurred to me what my favorite thing was. The badges! 

(Badges? We don't need no stinking badges! 

Ok, so now I got that out of my system.)

I loved getting to say "Happy Birthday," "Happy Anniversary," and "Congratulations" to newly weds. It was wonderful to rejoice with others. 

Yes, it was also great to wear my badge that said, "Celebrating Cancer-free." I don't think I ever had to explain what it was we were celebrating because the kids were so excited to share. I also got to brag on how awesome my husband and kids have been this year in caring for me. It was fun to get hugs and high-fives from characters. The best were Phineas and Ferb, who came out of their greeting area once they found out just to give me hugs. 

More than the congratulations from characters, though, was the opportunity to encourage others. We did not originally plan to see Fantasmic, but then we changed out fast passes to do so. Then as we entered, a cast member gave us tickets for better seats that someone else had given up. We had the best seats in the center.  The seats were made better by the family who sat behind us. The woman had been diagnosed with stage four cancer in 2012 and was given 6 months to live. She was there celebrating life with her family and has the goal of being there again in 2017. I had the pleasure of talking with her about her journey and how God, not fate, had put us together. I got to pray with her that God would continue to give her strength and joy in the journey. 

Wouldn't it be great if we could wear badges everyday to tell what we have to celebrate? Wouldn't it be great to rejoice with each other everyday? Oh, we do have badges, though they do not have pins. We have the ability to smile and tell others why we are rejoicing and ask them what they have to celebrate. How much happier would we all be if we focused on what we have to celebrate? Smile today!  Celebrate life!